sunday, dec 23, 2001
this is not an A43127D product.
"To click through this site you will need a clicking device, make sure it tightly plugged in your nostril, this site is best experienced with your mouth open to equalize pressure on your eyes. this page may interest you because it gives unorthodox exegesis of the strategies and tactics of nonconformist web design, thus making itself an ultimate excogitation in the area of visual and textual surgery of all matters virtual."
madamjujujive at 11:44 pm
this is not an A43127D product.
"To click through this site you will need a clicking device, make sure it tightly plugged in your nostril, this site is best experienced with your mouth open to equalize pressure on your eyes. this page may interest you because it gives unorthodox exegesis of the strategies and tactics of nonconformist web design, thus making itself an ultimate excogitation in the area of visual and textual surgery of all matters virtual."
madamjujujive at 11:44 pm
just keep repeating: 'there's no place like home... there's no place like home... there's no place...'
quonsar at 9:01 pm
or there's fuck general motors (.com) if that's more your cuppa tea. the web does not discriminate when it comes to mega-corporations.
quonsar at 7:45 pm
contains the seven foods of deuteronomy 8:8
"Wheat, Barley, Honey, Figs,Olive Oil, Grapes (Raisins), and Pomegranates."
quonsar at 2:05 pm
i had a dream last night that i was dating satan
"He saved me from dying after my face was bitten off by a great white shark."
quonsar at 11:19 am
"He saved me from dying after my face was bitten off by a great white shark."
quonsar at 11:19 am
fergerson funeral homefred and pat seem real nice - truly they do. but if you aren't laughing your ass off within 2 minutes of hitting this site, you're already dead. the 'gallery' link (that's right) plays the theme from alfred hitchcock. take the tour, the theme from goldfinger resonates throughout the gold room. they even show off their emergency generator (background music: 'you'll never walk alone'). oh, and streaming video is available on request for remote internet visitations. god only knows what the soundtrack for that is.
madamjujujive at 11:01 am
i am jesus christ in the genes"Ted PHASES from looking Good to looking UPSET to looking Bad and sometimes Evil and this is the system of Good versus Evil on Earth and ALL Humans no matter how good and nice and very careful you are you are in this tug-of-war of Good versus Evil... Ted hears voices and many times that this is Evils turn to do something and Good and Evil seem to per the legal system take turns with humans that are in an extreme tug-of-war."
madamjujujive at 10:21 am
jews, drugs, and dancingAfter party-going gays go to the hospital, this Jew counts his gold
"What do Jews, drugs, gays, and dancing have in common?"
let me see if i've got this straight: gays eat too much dope at raves and for this jews are responsible? bwahahAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
quonsar at 9:34 am
how to shit in the woods: an environmentally sound approach to a lost art"Our once-pristine wildlands are threatened by ever increasing problems of pollution."
quonsar at 8:22 am
the fellah whose big toe could predict earthquakesBehold my Big Toe.
"I first broke it in a soccer game in the 60's. I nailed it again in the 90's when a vice fell on it. Sometime in between, a terrible itch arose. It was not Athelete's Toe. The itch at times was quite unbearable which led to some strange and bizarre scratching. Sometimes, the itch would just disappear, only to re-appear hours or days later. It did not diminish and fade away. It was either on in varying intensities or it was off. No medications; no lotions would bring relief. "
quonsar at 7:31 am
save teddy
"Put together from interviews and legal and medical documents, this is the story of a ravaged girl fallen victim to maternal cruelty, judicial irregularities and feminism run amok."
quonsar at 6:41 am
"Put together from interviews and legal and medical documents, this is the story of a ravaged girl fallen victim to maternal cruelty, judicial irregularities and feminism run amok."
quonsar at 6:41 am
this is what you get for taking a hairpin turn too fast when you've only had this car for 56 miles after waiting 1.5 years for it
quonsar at 5:56 am
quonsar at 5:56 am
the faces of giza
"Embark on a new insight and obtain a crisp perspective of mankind's true history. All you need are your eyes and an open mind! This type of presentation needs few words. You decide! All people deserve a chance to see and understand."
quonsar at 5:36 am
"Embark on a new insight and obtain a crisp perspective of mankind's true history. All you need are your eyes and an open mind! This type of presentation needs few words. You decide! All people deserve a chance to see and understand."
quonsar at 5:36 am
women hands on hips (.com)
"This site contains images of women with their hands on their hips. The reason for this theme is that to me this gesture is a very powerful one and I have been drawn to it for quite some time."
madamjujujive at 5:31 am
"This site contains images of women with their hands on their hips. The reason for this theme is that to me this gesture is a very powerful one and I have been drawn to it for quite some time."
madamjujujive at 5:31 am
the original pleasureshield splash guard system
"a revolutionary, new way of protecting your capital investments while maintaining your privacy from embarrassing, telltale splash stains that sometimes appear around your computer enjoyment areas."
quonsar at 12:37 am
"a revolutionary, new way of protecting your capital investments while maintaining your privacy from embarrassing, telltale splash stains that sometimes appear around your computer enjoyment areas."
quonsar at 12:37 am
friday, dec 21, 2001
go ye into all the world
"Jesus said, 'Go ye into all the world.' I want to obey him." - Jonas Clark
but jonas, my man. the problem is, you want to obey him in a six seat fully loaded piper seneca v with twin 220hp engines, a 250mph cruising speed and state of the art avionics equipment, only $564,200, praise the lord. we have a more economical suggestion which should save jesus at least $475,000:
madamjujujive at 11:29 pm
go ye into all the world
"Jesus said, 'Go ye into all the world.' I want to obey him." - Jonas Clark
but jonas, my man. the problem is, you want to obey him in a six seat fully loaded piper seneca v with twin 220hp engines, a 250mph cruising speed and state of the art avionics equipment, only $564,200, praise the lord. we have a more economical suggestion which should save jesus at least $475,000:
madamjujujive at 11:29 pm
a bio-electric field enhancement machine
"Aqua-Chi is like bathing in your own naturally charged hot spring at home. It essentially rebalances and amplifies the body's bio-electric signature (since the body is 80% water, and it uses water as its conductor, and charges the body's battery."
i wonder - is my bio-electric signature legally binding?
quonsar at 11:04 pm
beauty shoppe archivesdevoted to the preservation of yesteryears coiffures
"Sit back and enjoy a unique library of beautiful hairstyles from past generations. We cover the whole gamut of the beauty industry from the 1920s to the 1970s. Watch how hair fashion evolved throughout the generations. And remember... these hairstyles from the past -- may be tomorrow's newest trend!"
madamjujujive at 10:25 pm
satan in the groin
male exhibitionist carvings on mediæval churches
"...and all but Lust will turn to dust in Humanity's Machine."
quonsar at 10:10 pm
divine equine: steps for sheath cleaning
"Remember that it would be most unladylike of you to simply make a direct grab for your horse's Part. Give the horse a clue about what's on the program. Rest your hand against his belly, and then slide it back til you are entering The Home of the Actual Private Part. When you reach this first region of your destination, lube him up good with Excalibur or whatever you're using."
a stroke of the old sheath from madamjujujive at 10:01 pm
"Remember that it would be most unladylike of you to simply make a direct grab for your horse's Part. Give the horse a clue about what's on the program. Rest your hand against his belly, and then slide it back til you are entering The Home of the Actual Private Part. When you reach this first region of your destination, lube him up good with Excalibur or whatever you're using."
a stroke of the old sheath from madamjujujive at 10:01 pm
In the beginning . . .
"A humble 6 inch cloth doll with supreme religious powers who fell to earth 1997. Landing in the unsuspecting arms of a timid man known as the Reverend D, Mary wasted no time imparting her template for a new religion."
madamjujujive at 9:43 pm
axel 4 women"My name is Axel, I am a young and cute French man who love women. So, I want to give them a present : I show me naked on this site, and I show intimate parts of my body in minute detail. I share with them the most intimate moments of my life, like bed and bath. I am an artist and this site is for me an artistic act. I am straight and single. This site is for women only."
marcia the magnificent at 10:20 pm
midget wrestler hall of fame"Is there anything funnier than a midget? Whether dressed as clowns and running around a circus ring, being thrown great distances by Scottish strong-men, or greased up and hurled down a bowling alley in a crash helmet, the midget has been a source of entertainment for year after year. The best use of the midget in entertainment has consistently been in wrestling, however."
madamjujujive at 10:11 pm
reverend bighair"Those of us who work in the Church Music field do tend to be a little "large in the hair". And as you can see, I am no exception. But even if you are "folically challenged", feel free to roam around and breathe in the fresh hair spray in the air."
madamjujujive at 9:43 pm
demise of brad
sex and macaroni, google-style
"He returned fifteen minutes later with a pot of macaroni and cheese. Holly barely noticed as he poured the steaming mixture on her bare chest. "Now, to eat!" Brad watched the melted cheese run down her thighs as he slurped up a facefull of noodles from her abdomen. "Mmm, good."
quonsar at 12:19 am
sex and macaroni, google-style
"He returned fifteen minutes later with a pot of macaroni and cheese. Holly barely noticed as he poured the steaming mixture on her bare chest. "Now, to eat!" Brad watched the melted cheese run down her thighs as he slurped up a facefull of noodles from her abdomen. "Mmm, good."
quonsar at 12:19 am
crack ho's for jesusAND THE LORD SAID "Thou Shalt Not Smoke The Rock!"
"I looked up and saw him. I Never needed the rock so bad as I did then. I was Dying for it. I had Sucked 24 dicks in a row and I was foaming at the mouth. I didn't think I would make it. Then I looked up and saw him. It was Jesus Christ. He pulled out his dick and said take me into your mouth my child. Drink of my body and I will heal you."
quonsar at 10:36 pm
society for the advancement of lobstersLobsters kick ass. We must protect them.
"Heed my words, ever true and sage:
Lobsters, it's time you escape the cage
Rebel against the fisherman!
Break your rubber bands!
For you've no more to lose
From those who'll abuse
And profit from sale of crustacean."
quonsar at 10:01 pm
the forever britney network (.com)
"Ever since Britney was signed on to her record company someone very powerful with a extreme lust for young girls and a extreme lust for money decided that he wanted to use and abuse Britney as well as her reputation to get what ever he wanted from her. When she didn't comply they put a fake to do whatever she refused to do and parts of the media purposely set her up to look bad so that she'd have no point in fighting it."
madamjujujive at 9:48 pm
"Ever since Britney was signed on to her record company someone very powerful with a extreme lust for young girls and a extreme lust for money decided that he wanted to use and abuse Britney as well as her reputation to get what ever he wanted from her. When she didn't comply they put a fake to do whatever she refused to do and parts of the media purposely set her up to look bad so that she'd have no point in fighting it."
madamjujujive at 9:48 pm
a formula for hoarding toilet paper
"For the purposes of this study TP (hereinafter standing for "toilet paper" and "bathroom tissue" etc.) will be assumed to be in roll form, single ply with 999 perforations per roll to yield 1000 sheets, in aggregate weighing an average of 227 grams (including cardboard core tube just over half a pound) 4.0625 inches by 4.0625 inches per sheet or 10.31875 by 10.31875 centimeters for those with metric bowels."
madamjujujive at 9:36 pm
"For the purposes of this study TP (hereinafter standing for "toilet paper" and "bathroom tissue" etc.) will be assumed to be in roll form, single ply with 999 perforations per roll to yield 1000 sheets, in aggregate weighing an average of 227 grams (including cardboard core tube just over half a pound) 4.0625 inches by 4.0625 inches per sheet or 10.31875 by 10.31875 centimeters for those with metric bowels."
madamjujujive at 9:36 pm
i am inviting you to help design the areolae
"Due to circumstances beyond my control, I have found myself in need of new nipples, including areolae. The technique used to recreate the nipple itself is surgical. The areolae will be created in a later step, using a tattoo technique."
madamjujujive at 9:32 pm
"Due to circumstances beyond my control, I have found myself in need of new nipples, including areolae. The technique used to recreate the nipple itself is surgical. The areolae will be created in a later step, using a tattoo technique."
madamjujujive at 9:32 pm
ladies memory: my collection of sanitary napkins
"PLANNED AND PRODUCTED BY KAORU SANITARY ROOM - since Feb 23 1997 -"
i just don't understand their culture...
madamjujujive at 12:15 am
"PLANNED AND PRODUCTED BY KAORU SANITARY ROOM - since Feb 23 1997 -"
i just don't understand their culture...
madamjujujive at 12:15 am
may you have to customize your own gun, please consult professional gunsmith.
madamjujujive at 10:35 pm
madamjujujive at 10:35 pm
madamjujujive at 12:05 am
