a strong binding skin inflammation of the dog led him to the optician
"Avalanche dog often suffer from snow blindness, this eyeglasses give protection against wind and sun. Important is also the glass, because if the avalanche dog breathes heavily, the eyeglasses are not supposed to steam up.."
quonsar at 11:24 pm
i could sex as many as fifteen hundred turkeys an hour. that's about one every two seconds.
"Two years ago I sexed my last chick," Hugh Grove said. "I walked away. It was time. I was relieved to be done. I quit cutting my thumbnail just so, and put my smock and bucket and light away, and that was that. No regrets. The time comes, and you've got to face it like a man."
madamjujujive at 8:54 pm
"As a dermatologist and a film buff, I've found a series of skin conditions featured in movies. All of the films listed are readily available on home video. Peruse at your leisure and let me know what you think. You may look at movies in a new way."
madamjujujive at 5:20 pm
cia canine corps
find the cia agent
|they're not worth a shit at providing intelligence that could prevent attacks on our nation, but hey - something tells me they could produce one hell of a saturday morning cartoon.|
quonsar at 2:26 pm
an independent, sovereign country
"The Kingdom of Talossa is an independent, sovereign nation in North America which seceded peacefully from the United States in 1979... The Kingdom is bounded on the west, north and south by the USA (specifically the City of Milwaukee and its suburbs) and on the east by Lake Michigan."
madamjujujive at 2:11 pm
Second Coming of Jesus is just around the corner
"If you are lucky enough to meet Jesus in person, you want to make the best impression possible...What if His table manners are odd? Modern utensils may not be familiar to Jesus, who was raised in ancient Palestine. Don't be surprised if He appears uncomfortable using a fork and table knife. Don't attempt to correct Him, just quietly show him the correct way by example."
shelldrake at 1:26 pm
film at eleven
quonsar at 12:50 pm
quonsar at 12:45 pm
quonsar at 12:38 pm
"Shortly after we seen that UFO hovering about 50 feet above their place. . . Some pretty weird things started happening down there. They started building something behind that gated fence."
quonsar at 4:05 am
cool down your aching butt
Relief will soon be as close as your refrigerator door.
"Give your butt a glacial spa treatment and it will say thank you."
quonsar at 12:51 pm
"this is a website brimming with stupid looking animals. look at them. they're fucking stupid, aren't they?"
quonsar at 11:59 am
10 minute deer skinner (.com)
"Uses the power of your vehicle to quickly and efficiently remove deer skin."
quonsar at 10:26 am
"Name me, if you can, a better feeling than the one you get when you're half a bottle of Chivas in the bag with a gram of coke up your nose, and a teen-age lovely pulling off her tube top in the next seat over while you're going a hundred miles an hour down a suburban sidestreet. You'd have to watch the entire Mexican air force crash-land in a liquid petroleum gas storage facility to match this kind of thrill."
quonsar at 10:03 am
"The first step is the removal of the head of the unfortunate victim. The skin is cut around the top parts of the chest and back and the head is cut off close to the collarbone. The head taker then passes a vine through the head to carry it, and makes a fast retreat. The head is prepared over 5 or 6 days during brief stops on the return trip home. A slit is made in the back of the head, and the skin is carefully removed from the skull. The skull is then thrown into the river as a "gift to the anaconda".
quonsar at 3:49 am
incredible gourmet chocolate dog poop
see also gourmet chocolate cat poop.
quonsar at 11:25 pm
prime number shitting bear meets the goatse.cx guy
not work safe
tourist guy meets all your base are belong to us
not dishwasher safe
quonsar at 9:01 pm
is nowhere near as interesting as tugger's little secret! [mirror]
(thanks marcia) quonsar at 8:21 pm
"July 1, 1998. Frazee, Minnesota. On a hilltop overlooking the western entrance to this peaceful town, members of Frazee's maintenance department are secretly laboring over Big Tom — the 22-foot-tall beloved civic symbol of this, the Turkey Capital of the World — working against the clock to get BT shipshape for Frazee's upcoming Turkey Days festival. With a blowtorch. Suddenly, calamity!"
quonsar at 12:38 pm
build a lifesize, realistic, decaying corpse in the privacy of your own home
WARNING: Displaying a corpse in public may break some County laws.
"This Step By Step Manual includes options for installing Lights into the eye sockets, cabling the mouth to open and close using a cable controlled handle and Life Casting."
quonsar at 11:43 pm
Breatharianism is physical perfection
"no one seems to realize that eating is not natural, but an acquired habit, like smoking and drinking, and that FRESH CLEAN AIR is the Cosmic Reservoir of all things, including the substance that builds and sustains the human body."
madamjujujive at 11:23 pm
"an interfaith church whose members practice an assortment of timeless body modification rites which we believe are essential to our spiritual salvation. We believe that especially in these uncertain modern times, it is doubly important that we never forget these activities, and that to do so would surely mean our spiritual downfall."
quonsar at 12:28 am
quonsar at 12:21 am
Refuting the Most Common Feminist Lies and Pseudo-Scholarship
"The feminist movement as we have come to know it in recent decades is fundamentally a "con." It is as filled with falsehood, inaccuracy, and foolishness as astrology or parapsychology."
quonsar at 10:54 pm
"patron saint of mental illness, nervous diseases, incest victims, runaways, sleepwalkers, and therapists."
quonsar at 9:33 pm
a religious satire
"This morning there was a knock at my door. When I answered the door I found a well groomed, nicely dressed couple. The man spoke first: "Hi! I'm John, and this is Mary. We're here to invite you to come kiss Hank's ass with us."
quonsar at 7:32 pm
not a product endorsement.
quonsar at 7:16 pm
people doing strange things with electricity
"q: i make cold, hard, intense, machine-robot-skull-hammer music, and am bent on the annihilation of the human species. can i participate in dorkbotnyc meetings?
a: yes, although annihilatory activity is prohibited at dorkbotnyc meetings and you must leave your skull hammer at home."
quonsar at 6:56 pm
the singing dictionary
too weird. somebody went to a lot of trouble, combining words from online dictionaries and MIDI soundtracks to make 'dictionary karaoke'. and it's way better than some karaoke i've been subject to.
madamjujuive at 6:44 pm
Quality Electronics Products for the New Millenium
"ELECTRONICALLY, by using a frequency generator, which, given sufficient voltage (5 to 15 volts), duration (7 minutes) and frequency (anything from 10 Hz to 500,000 Hz) will kill all bacteria, viruses and parasites simultaneously. Generating positive offset frequencies is the best way to kill all pathogens quickly. But it takes more than one treatment."
madamjujujive at 6:32 pm