because dogs need massage too
"Massage will help you give back the love and trust your dog gives you each and every day. Once you understand what massage is all about you may ask yourself why you didn't do it sooner"
quonsar at 11:45 pm
parts and kits for sale
"This completed kit will turn traffic lights green in most U.S. and foreign cities where opticom type and 911 enacted counties traffic control signals are used. The light changes to yellow and then red within 2 seconds. Fine tune adjustable rate to accommodate most areas. Plans includes details on a special filter so no one will ever know you're using it."
shelldrake at 10:08 pm
IF YOU WANT ME TO WOK SOME MAGIC ON YOUR GEOCITIES WEBSITE SEND ME THE PASSWORD
"I ALSO LIKE DESIGNING GRAPFICS AND WEB PAGES ON GEOCITIES, YOU COULD SAY THAT I AM AN EXPERT AND I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN SMART WITH COMPUTERS!!! AND AFTER I DESIGNED A WEBPAGE FOR MY BEST PAL BILLY I DECIDED TO MAKE A JOB OUT OF IT SO I CAN EARN SOME LUNCH MONEY"
quonsar at 9:57 pm
as seen on eBay
"MUSIC TO @#$% BY :) never know what CD to throw on when the wife gets a little kinky?? PORN MUSIC FROM THE 70's (it can't be as bad as DISCO) SOME OF YOUR FAVORITE HITS: DICK DAGGERS THEME, LAYING PIPE, CRAMMING FOR COLLEGE, NICE N SLEAZY DOES IT, HER MAGIC CARPET. FEATURES THE PORN KING, HIMSELF : RON JEREMY." [mirror]
polar bear w/penis and blue pubic hair
as seen on eBay
"The Erection Collection - the adult plush toy with weenies!(TM) Each of these adorable plush novelties comes with a risque poem printed on the swing tag." [mirror]
quonsar at 9:26 pm
Your Guide to the World of 8-Track Tapes
"We're digital online but analog at heart. If we don't care for the 8-track, who will?"
quonsar at 10:36 am
A New Humpisode Weekly!
"If you don't see and hear a dog humping a toaster, you need an updated Flash player."
quonsar at 8:15 pm
personal firearm with wireless web capability
"The company CEO delighted the audience by firing several live rounds into the air then, moments later, logging onto a Yahoo! news site and proudly displaying the downloaded headline: 'JOBS FIRES GUN AT PRESS CONFERENCE.'"
quonsar at 7:46 pm
you are the pinkest mutant.
"You are the happiest blanket. You are the squeakiest mink. Goodbye!"
quonsar at 6:03 pm
a nonprofit corporation
"OUR MISSION STATEMENT: To track, synthesize and expose the secret, social and political corruption of America's powerful, government financed LESBIAN MAFIA."
quonsar at 5:26 pm
New things will be broken every week.
"Everything from Aquariums to ZD-ROMs.Only the "guy up there" knows what!"
quonsar at 5:07 pm
"We are the Internet's first online raffle site where you can actually enter to win breast implant surgery!"
quonsar at 5:42 pm
ever wonder what the guy who runs 'dork of the day' looks like?
quonsar at 11:11 pm
a site for those who stay out of sight - the adult thumb sucker
"For all those years you thought you were the only person on the planet thumbsucking at your age. Well, you finally found the right place!"
quonsar at 9:47 pm
students for a drug free white house
"Welcome to the 'Just Say Blow' project of Students for a Drug-Free White House. The Bush administration has announced it will deny federal financial aid to students who won't answer questions about their drug histories. Since this policy comes from a man who spent an entire campaign refusing to talk about his own drug record, we have one simple request: President Bush, if you deny federal funds to students who won't talk about their drug histories, it's only fair that you forego your federal salary until you are willing to come clean with your own drug past."
quonsar at 8:25 am
the first human cloning company
"The Valiant Venture Company that RAĖL had created in the Bahamas to carry out the CLONAID project no longer exists. It has been cancelled by the Bahamian government following pressure from the French media that asked the Bahamian authorities if they were going to allow human cloning to be carried out in their country..."
quonsar at 10:54 pm
Don't get mad, get even
"DogDoo.com will pack and send an anonymous heaping pile of the best dog doo money can buy - anywhere in the world!"
quonsar at 9:36 pm
quickly and effectively clean the tongue
the most effective, attractive, user-friendly product available!
quonsar at 11:35 pm
"This site contains beds of nails, spikes hammered into the skull, unintended uses for condoms, stomach pumping, bug eating, sword swallowing, flesh skewering, broken glass, pierced lifting, flesh hook suspensions, hand smashing, knives, torches, fire eating and much more. All performed by a man who is completely tattooed with reptilian scales and markings, has multiple piercings, formed his fingernails into claws, had horned ridges implanted into his skull, filed his teeth to points, and has a surgically split tongue."
quonsar at 11:28 pm