the kind of challenge real Americans seek
"Who wants to be a passive victim of nuclear war when, with a little effort, you can be an active participant? Bomb shelters are for losers. Who wants to huddle together underground eating canned Spam?"
shelldrake at 10:36 pm
watching for the return of jesus
"This gate, once an entrance to the Temple Mount area, faces the Kidron Valley and the Mount of Olives. It will remain sealed until Messiah comes."
shelldrake at 9:56 pm
marinated skugg and jellied frews -- our specialty
"Celebrity omelet: delicately aged and lovingly scrambled duck eggs containing the dandruff, toenail clippings and arm hair of the Stars in a delightfully creamy cheese sauce!"
quonsar at 9:12 pm
"For some odd reason, I don't throw away my shopping receipts, any of them. I just keep them all in an old toaster box. No indexing, no purpose, no real reason to hold on to them. Until now. For the voyeur in all of you, I present nearly every WalMart purchase that I have made since the end of 1996."
quonsar at 8:23 pm
"The tree octopus explores its arboreal world by both touch and sight. Adaptations its ancestors originally evolved in the three dimensional environment of the sea have been put to good use in the spatially complex maze of the coniferous Olympic rainforests."
quonsar at 7:04 pm
Category: Social Skills
"Things needed: pen, paper, movie schedule..."
quonsar at 11:56 pm
"Men Against Pornography is a group of profeminist men in New York City who want to help create sexual justice and who believe that pornography stands in the way of it."
quonsar at 11:52 pm
So good, you almost forget it's generic
"If we become complacent, then all our breakfast goes away" - Continental Dandymullet, Founder
quonsar at 6:11 pm
resistance is puerile!
"Halfway House of the Not Ready for the Algonquin Roundtable Society"
quonsar at 6:03 pm
"The Jatravartid people of Viltvodle VI believe that the Universe was in fact sneezed out of the nose of a being called the Great Green Arkleseizure."
"Somewhere in deep space, the Nebula Nostrillia is churning out weird globules of galactic glop called Space Mucus. This substance is prized throughout the universe and, in some sectors, is more valuable than Vulcan earwax."
"Don't hold that sneeze! Let 'er rip and compare it to what science has to offer! Ingredients team up with laundry starch to produce three different slimy polymers that look and feel like the real thing."
soothing topical mucus solvent
"Use as a douche cup or an atomizer for the nose or as a gargle or a spray for the throat."
ask the imam: does swallowing of mucus break the fast?
"Swallowing Mucus or sputum does not invalidate the fast. and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best. Mufti Ebrahim Desai, FATWA DEPT.
a gigantic heaping wad of processed cow mucus
have some! after all, you won't be breaking your fast!
quonsar at 5:43 pm
a handbag fashioned from an actual bull scrotum and a postcard of goat nursing a baby.
shelldrake at 10:39 pm
quonsar at 8:56 pm
i first saw this years ago as a crudely drawn cartoon, the kind of thing people used to xerox and pass around the office. you know, before email...
quonsar at 8:35 pm