sunday, apr 1, 2001
gay-o-meter
shelldrake at 8:02 pm
replacement owlpellets
what happened to the originals?
"All our owlpellets are heat pasturized in conventional ovens at 350F for 30 minutes and air dried."
bet that smells great...
quonsar at 7:49 pm

shelldrake at 6:37 pm
intelligent radioactive tumbleweeds
"The tumbleweeds blew against the [2-metre high] fence where they built up, forming a ramp other weeds could climb over."
quonsar at 6:15 pm
call me zorknapp
I arrived in the vicinity of this planet in 1969
"I left Washington the day after I hired Monica Lewinsky as an intern at the White House."
quonsar at 5:48 pm
world wide web based melody retrieval system with thresholds determined by using distribution of pitch and span of notes
"system takes a sung melody as a query and retrieves the song's title or other information from a music database"
life will never be the same. how did we ever get by without this?
quonsar at 4:55 pm
disperse_life
quonsar at 2:31 pm
dolphin sex (.org)
"How DO you mate with a dolphin?"
"Dolphins are very intelligent, highly emotional and expressive creatures. They enjoy the company of humans, and if a relationship develops between a human and a dolphin, as has happened with me, they will, on occasion, wish to express their trust and affection for you in the most direct way; through mating, or sex-play."
this is why lloyd bridges never smiled in Sea Hunt. he knew what those boys were up to...
quonsar at 2:27 pm
friday, mar 30, 2001
how to choose a toilet seat
so many selections...how do you choose?
quonsar at 6:45 pm
john's asian drink adventure
quonsar at 6:43 pm

quonsar at 6:41 pm
thursday, mar 29, 2001
ackthpt!unsportsmanlike interference
defense attorney: client merely administered a "wedgie"
"Controversial Wests Tigers winger John Hopoate has been suspended for 12 weeks after being found guilty by the NRL Judiciary of poking his fingers up the anuses of three North Queensland players." mirror
quonsar at 11:55 pm
buckaroo bonzai kitten
not to be confused with the bonsai variety.
quonsar at 11:25 pm

quonsar at 11:16 pm
sweaty lip fetish (.com) snores real loud
quonsar at 11:09 pm
make me say something dirty!
shelldrake at 10:55 pm
wednesday, mar 28, 2001
i_can_dance_if_i_want_to!
quonsar at 7:30 pm
sexual positions free (.com)
where else ya gonna find this kinda happy crap?
"On the site, you will find:A number of sexual positions, each illustrated by an image. Unintended use of figure drawing mannequins. Some really cheap, imitation Barbie and Ken dolls. Some weak attempts at humor."
we're sure you'll be as impressed with his site as he is.
shelldrake at 7:25 pm

shelldrake at 7:19 pm
tuesday, mar 27, 2001
attention, fat corporate bastards!
we know about your plans for the internet
quonsar at 10:06 pm

quonsar at 9:54 pm
man beef (.com)
catering to the sophisticated human meat consumer
"Your choice for quality human meats, and gourmet human meat products."
quonsar at 9:15 pm

quonsar at 8:35 pm
oly-hay ible-bay
the first complete translation of the bible into pig latin
due to disk space limitations, currently only Enisis-gay, Ob-jay, and Ohn-jay are online.
quonsar at 8:24 pm
how to dance properly
quonsar at 8:05 pm
monday, mar 26, 2001
mexicana in the flesh
ThE kInD oF pApI tHaT i'm LoOkInG fOr....
"He gotta be respectful and gotta know what he wants with me....I dont want no nikka mistaken me for a chicken head thinkin he could disrespect me and play head games...."
quonsar at 9:19 pm
wang pulls out
quonsar at 9:05 pm
belly art (.com)
don't hide it, show it off.
"I'll decorate your pregnant belly in one of several colorful designs, from a big orange pumpkin to something festive for the holidays or just about whatever you can dream up."
quonsar at 8:52 pm