sunday, dec 17, 2000
body inflation home page
a special fixation on all things pneumatic
"Some people are into inflatable toys, some folks like inflating clothing, some people just like balloons, some people like people who are just like balloons, those of us who are into inflating people."
quonsar at 12:33 pm
the bureau of atomic tourism
"The Bureau of Atomic Tourism is dedicated to the promotion of tourist locations around the world that have either been the site of atomic explosions, display exhibits on the development of atomic devices, or contain vehicles that were designed to deliver atomic weapons."
quonsar at 12:26 pm
here are the facts you requested
quonsar at 11:59 am
saturday, dec 16, 2000
alien bases on earth
the places where aliens live, and from which they operate
"Also from where most Space Ships come and return after missions are accommplished [sic]"
quonsar at 2:22 am
"i knew i didn't want my leg"
should amputation be treated like cosmetic surgery?
"My left foot was not part of me," says one amputee, who had wished for amputation since the age of eight. "I didn't understand why, but I knew I didn't want my leg."
quonsar at 1:57 am
friday, dec 15, 2000
yugo fireplace
via metafilter
quonsar at 8:19 pm
goose24.org
loving the best goose
"Ducks Unlimited Canada tagged some geese to study migration patterns. Goose24.org is dedicated to tracking and loving "The Best Goose."
quonsar at 7:12 pm
thursday, dec 14, 2000
bam-b.com
quonsar at 10:13 pm
$10k for a wife
"I am offering a $10,000 reward to anyone that introduces me to the woman that I marry"
"No, there is nothing wrong with me and I can assure you that I am not desperate. I do have a high degree of confidence that allows me to be unconcerned that many people may find this highly unusual."
quonsar at 10:10 pm
aliens are abducting our pants
a statement that will change the way humans perceive themselves in their relationship to the universe
The scientists put me under a strict regiment of treatments that included: hypnosis, shock therapy, enemas, LSD, and Vulcan-mind-melding."
quonsar at 10:07 pm
gore encodes filthy messages in concession speech
concession speech filled with backwards-masking messages
CNN noted that the phrase "I offered to meet with him as soon as possible so we can start to heal the divisions of the campaign and the contest from which we just passed," when played backwards, says "I hope World War Three starts because of your stupidity, you drunken coke-sniffing cock smoker"
shelldraked at 8:47 pm
three kids kicking the crap out of a chair for no particular reason
quonsar at 8:10 pm
the hard life of sam sloan
can you say wacko?
his unborn son was aborted by a nun. his surviving children have been kidnapped by jerry falwell. or was it by this couple? in any event, they are being raised by a beast. he suffers discrimination at the hands of airlines, and to top it all off, his web site is being investigated by the fbi.
quonsar at 6:57 pm
corpses for sale
shrug.
quonsar at 6:33 pm
pink motherboards
the perfect accessory for geek barbie?
quonsar at 6:31 pm
wednesday, dec 13, 2000
make my grumpy cat dance
quonsar at 11:41 pm
the profound social retardation of the 1954 teenager
quonsar at 11:18 pm
bastard son of the lord
"one thing i'll say for him, jesus is cool" -- caiaphas
"JESUS IS BACK!!! Many of you may know that Jesus was recently killed in a boating accident. Well, he's been resurrected!"
dude must be running old software.
quonsar at 6:37 pm
core meltdown initiated
welcome to absurd.org
be patient. it's over in less than a minute.
quonsar at 6:18 pm
ear candling
new age medicine
i know some people i'd like to photograph with candles in their ears.
quonsar at 6:09 pm
talking beer opener
actually says "oh yeah! time for a beer!"
quonsar at 5:28 pm
know your flow
vinnie's tampon cases
"Tired of spending big bucks on tampons only to find them mangled at the bottom of your back pack? Sick of not having a pad when you really need one? Then you need VINNIE'S TAMPON CASE!!"
quonsar at 5:23 pm
you won't call me stupid when i'm president
quonsar at 5:00 pm
the original sport utility vehicle
in a high-tech age, there are still certain fundamental products that go on and on and on
"While its wagons helped inspire a 1992 fantasy film bearing its name, the story of Radio Flyer's founding is worth a Hollywood movie all its own."
quonsar at 3:46 pm
al gore hijacks ryder truck full of ballots
clinton calls for gore to turn himself in
"Al Gore has been leading over 42 police cars and eight television-network helicopters on a 6 hour slow-speed car chase through Florida. Sources close to the Florida department of public safety have told CNN that Al Gore is the only one in the truck and is driving with a gun pointed to his head."
updated 12/15/00: the page is gone and the link is redirected. damn, i wish i had mirrored this!
quonsar at 7:27 am
tuesday, dec 12, 2000
"oh, bother," said pooh, as he hid piglet's mangled corpse.
quonsar at 11:06 pm

researchers hail breakthrough:
poodle embryo injected with
genes of pigeon

quonsar at 10:16 pm
crafty gal's list of ideas of what to do with a broken vibrator
or, what to do when the battery powered buddy you loved so dies a horrible death.
"Put pink elephant stickers on it and use it as an oversized martini stirring piece. Use the cavity of the vibrator to store olives."
quonsar at 9:52 pm
get your custom photo condom
"greatest calling card in the universe"
shelldraked at 7:20 pm
pusspuss?!?!?!?!
quonsar at 12:36 pm
monday, dec 11, 2000
porn for computers
These sassy gals really have a thing for the kitchen!!
like furniture porn but with computers.
quonsar at 8:59 pm
bunny survival tests
usually painful, yet not always cruel
and of course you will want to catch the sequel...
shelldraked at 7:46 pm